Building Your Sense Of Self-Worth Using SMST

Building Your Sense Of Self-Worth Using SMST

A powerful way to build a sense of self-worth in your life.

As working professionals, parents and online entrepreneurs with a vision, we all have a never-ending list of to-dos and projects. Running a business or a project, naturally means coordinating and managing multiple moving parts. At the same time, bringing a project to its completion is essential for feeling a sense of progress and a sense of accomplishment about our work which feeds into our sense of self-worth.

But more often than not, there’s a constant supply of things to do. Projects take weeks to complete and as soon as one hits completion, there’s another one on the horizon. When we are also juggling home and family duties along with personal care on top of our business and careers, then there seems to be no end to all the tasks that need to be done. This cycle ends up overwhelming us, draining our energy and over time it can zap our motivation and drive for the very things that we most wanted to accomplish.

Photo by Teddy Kelley

In the face of all of this never-ending lists of tasks, how then do we feel any sense of completion or progress?

Personally, I have felt this exact scenario play out over and over again in the course of last eight years. Thankfully, I have found for myself a solution that works. And I hope it will help you as well in building a sense of accomplishment and a track record that you can look back upon over the course of time.

Every day before I go to bed, I really like the feeling of “Ah, what a good day it was today.” And I noticed that if I had a long open list of to-dos hanging around at the end of my day, even after toiling the whole day to get things done, this good feeling of a job well done would evaporate, no matter how much I accomplished that day. It felt like I could never beat the magically-growing list of tasks. And that left me utterly unsatisfied with myself.

So this is what I came up with:

Choosing A SMST At The Start Of The Day
(or the day before if you can)

SMST stands for Single Most Satisfying Task. So, I started choosing the single most satisfying task to be done that day. Now there are two key parts of this phrase that I want to highlight:

1. Single: Yes, single! You must choose just one thing that you want to accomplish in that day, not any more. Now of course, you will most likely end up doing more than that one thing in that day. However, this is not about the entire list of to-dos. It is about picking the one thing that if you completed that day, will make you feel accomplished at the end of the day. So if everything goes wrong and you are not able to get to do all the things on your day schedule, you can say to yourself: “Ah, thank goodness, I at least got this one thing done.” So your day is always rescued from chaos - because you got at least one important step forward. And most likely, you will do plenty of other things any ways. But this one thing anchors you and gives you the feeling of progress. So it is important that this one thing is important to you which brings me to the next point:
    
2. Most Satisfying: This is a key phrase because not all tasks are created equal. Some will move you forward but you don’t care much about them in the big picture. This task has to be most satisfying in the sense that when, at the end of the day, you look back and see this one thing crossed off, you know that you have made real progress. Of course, this task can’t be too huge that it cannot be done in that one day. It also can’t be so huge that all other obligations and tasks of that day are neglected. There’s certainly got to be a balance.

The critical thing that can make this work is to start with what matters most to you. I’ve got more details on how to figure out what matters most to you in this blog post where you can also download a free worksheet. You can use it for both personal and business goals. After you complete this worksheet, in a matter of minutes you’ll know exactly what matters most to you and this will determine what is the most important task you have at hand.

Once you know what the most important project is, then you can more easily determine what is the SMST or the single most satisfying task is. So for example, from the above worksheet, you find out that writing your first book is what matters most to you. Then, you can set an achievable goal for each day; let’s say that's writing a 1000 words or showing up at your computer from 9am to 11am. There you have this clear goal. You sit down each day for an hour or two and produce these 2 pages (at least). After you accomplish your SMST, record this in your tracking calendar. Many productivity and habit coaches teach that tracking your new habit is a foundational element of building a habit because it creates a visual chain that you can see and don't want to break.

Now of course, during the rest of the day you will most likely produce a lot of other things and complete a lot of other tasks. But even if you don’t, you will have those 2 pages under your belt and you can then go to bed with a sense of satisfaction: “my day was productive. I got 2 pages forward in completing my book”. Then you see the results in your tracking calendar over time and that really makes you feel motivated to keep going.

Why us this SMST tool again?

This sense of satisfaction, completion and accomplishment comes in tiny bits each day and is crucial for a sense of self-worth. And it builds up over time. As you see all the key things you have done over time, you really begin to value yourself more. Why? Because you begin to respect yourself more: Oh, wow, look how I persevered daily for 6 months and created this x (end result such as a book). Of course, in the big picture you are worthy and valuable regardless of what you accomplish, because you are a precious human being. But at times we are not able to recognize that in ourselves and we feel useless or not a contributing member of society and that can bring us down. Or we feel so overwhelmed with everything that we cannot see all the things we are already doing that is of value and helpful to others. And so, such a daily device of SMSP is very useful in building a sense of self-worth and a daily sense of fulfillment with our lives. Not only do you build a sense of self-worth, you also get moving on your goals more easily!

So my dear friends, I have these two worksheets for you. One is to help you figure out what matters most to you. And the other is to help you daily identify your SMSP and then track its completion. You can put this in your bathroom or closet wall or right next to your computer.

Steps for using the SMST Self-Worth tool:

This is how you use it:

1. Find out what matters most to you.

You can choose one for personal and one for business or combine them into one. 
Ex: Being more active. Taking time for mental wellness. Writing a book.

2. Determine what task you can do to implement that into your life.
Ex: Writing everyday or Walking or Meditating everyday

3. Then identify the SMST or the single most satisfying task.
Ex: Walking for 20 minutes from 7 to 7:20am right after brushing teeth. 
(Shower and Breakfast is from 7:30 to 8:30)
Ex: Meditating for 30 minutes from 8:30 am to 9am right after breakfast.
Ex: Writing 2 pages from 9 am to 11 am right after meditating.

Tip: It is important to create triggers. A trigger is something that happens right before your new habit. So 'right after breakfast' or 'right after meditating' are both triggers. So once you have breakfast, you know what happens next. This is not something you have to think of each time, its' pre-decided and because you don't have to decide this every day, the new habit has an easier time to form.

If you create a clear trigger for your SMST then it is more likely to happen. I’ve found that it’s an easier way to build a new habit. As you can see in the above example, with triggers and clear tasks, you can even build three different habits on top of each other. Start with one habit at a time though. When that one's in place, add another. Don't go doing all three new habits at once - that's not sustainable in my experience.

4. Then, record and track it in your calendar (see free calendar download).
Ex: Walked for 20 minutes from 7:15 to 7:35am
Ex: Meditated for 30 minutes from 8:45 to 9:15. 
Ex. Wrote 1.5 pages from 9:15 am to 11am.
The idea behind tracking is to simply see how you did, not for judging yourself for being late or even for missing out on it completely.  Tracking encourages you to pick the habit again and keep going but if you miss, just start again.

Do this for at least a week and see how it feels. Give it a try and if you feel more accomplished continue it for another week. 

I hope my dear friend that this approach of choosing your daily Single Most Satisftying Task is helpful to you and that you will use the What matters most worksheet along with the Record & Track SMST calendar to build your sense of self-worth and a sense of completion and fulfillment at the end of the day.

So after going through the What Matters Most worksheet and the SMST Tracking Calendar, tell me in the comments, what is your SMST for today? I'd love to know!

037: How to remove the dotted line from your links in your ConvertKit emails?

Hello there!

This video is in answer to Janine's question. She asked how to remove the double lines that appeared in her emails under the link text. So here's a quick video showing you how to remove the lines.

In brief though, this is what you need to do:

1. Go to your custom template.
2. Look for the code addressing all links. It will look something like this:

a {
    text-decoration: underline;
     border-bottom: 1px dotted #0875c1;
    color: #59c4d9;
  }

3. Next, remove the bit about dotted and underline so that the adjusted code looks like this:
 

a {
    text-decoration: none;
     border-bottom: none;
    color: #59c4d9;
  }

And now a quick video to show you the above steps visually:

What is Inner-strength and how do we cultivate it?

What is Inner-strength and how do we cultivate it?

In today's article, I explore what it means to have "inner-strength", whether it can be something we can develop; and if so, how do we go about cultivating it to deal with life's challenges:

What does it mean to have inner-strength?

Resilience, perseverance and tenacity - what all these words have in common is that they give me a sense of deep inner-strength. It’s the power one has to deal with difficult situations; to give their all to a business idea or a goal; or to dedicate everything they’ve got in taking care of their family. It’s the strength one has to fight injustices; or to work for humane treatment of humans and animals. It’s the perceived strength one must have to overcome life’s challenges.

We do need that inner-strength in today's modern life, don't we? From dealing with the cranky child to the colleague who is always running late on projects to the customer who seems to be communicating with us with anger and impatience, to the spouse who seems to us to be nagging us - and then all of this and more happening all at once!

Anatomy of inner-strength
If we look at the anatomy of inner-strength, it’s hard to outline what it exactly entails. But one can see it in those who embody it. These people may not be very tall or physically fit, instead they might be slender and frail-looking. They may not have a fierce look on their faces, instead, they have a kind and gentle face. Inner-strength comes in all shapes and sizes. But what they do embody is a kind of a quiet inner-fortitude with which they calmly deal with whatever comes their way.

This inner-fortitude can take the form of compassion when dealing with an unruly child. Or kind words spoken to a worried stranger.  It can be silence in the face of insulting words. Or it can be in the form of strong action in the face of injustice. It can be the choice of non-violence in response to aggression.

When seen in this way, inner-strength sounds really interesting. Wouldn’t you want to have that kind of strength to handle what life throws at you? I have seen the results in my own life where practicing the action-steps of cultivating inner-strength has greatly helped me deal with depression and lack of enthusiasm for life as well as self-doubt and a sense of overwhelm when faced with obstacles on my path. Truly, developing inner-strength has saved my life. But it can also help one deal with other low-level but can help us keep moving forward regardless of what situation you face - from a difficult boss to an ailing health. 

Is one naturally born with inner-strength? Can this be developed at any age?

We may have a tendency to have a certain level of tenacity or inner-strength that's innate - something we are built with. But, I've found that it is also something that can be developed; it can be cultivated within us just like a new plant can be cultivated from a seed. The reason for this is that the source of inner-strength comes from our mind. The way we train our mind leads to how well we develop our inner-strength, something, I believe, we can do at any age.

Photo by Frank McKenna

Components of inner-strength

Regardless of what form inner-strength takes, the source of it is from within. It’s the inner-capacity to assess a situation, observe our own thoughts and emotions as a response and it’s the ability to respond wisely and compassionately to what we are experiencing. Inner-strength is ultimately the capacity to train our minds and meaningfully harness the immense power of our mind in day-to-day situations. 

The process of demonstrating inner-strength
Here is a trajectory that starts off with mindfulness and ends up with inner-strength showing up as compassionate action:

1. Being mindful

2. Observing emotions

3. Responding instead of reacting

4. Bringing compassion

5. From there bringing compassionate action

So as you can see, the components of inner-strength show up in a certain kind of process of being.

5 Action steps to build inner-strength

What you see above is also then, a path to developing inner-strength. The more we practice the above, the stronger we get from within when faced with challenging situations. So this is how the process translates into action steps along a path:

Building our capacity to be mindful
This way we are more in the moment and present to what is going on. This can be developed with either mindfulness and meditation practices.

Building our capacity to observe
When we are present to what's going on, we can observe our own thoughts and emotions. By staying with those thoughts and emotions, we help take off their edge and as a result keeping those strong emotions in check.

Building our capacity to respond instead of react
When we are able to observe, we are also better able to respond with consideration and forethought instead of impetuously reacting to what's going on.

Building our capacity to bring compassion to the situation
This means bringing in patience, understanding, forgiveness and loving-kindness to ourselves, the event and those involved.

Building our capacity for compassionate action
From this compassionate attitude, we can generate the inner-strength to take compassionate action.

There you have it, each time we practice along this path, we build our capacity to better deal with the challenges of life until there comes a time where things that use to be immensely stressful and distressing, we now find much more easier manageable to deal with. The irate customer doesn't bother us as much. The unruly student is much easier to engage with. The nagging wife or husband is no longer a source of stress. The slow colleague doesn't upset us as much. Instead, in each of these situations we are more gentle and kind, leading from our place with compassion and taking constructive actions to deal with situations. 

This is the power of building up our inner-strength through regular practice!

A Process Worth Developing

Establishing inner-strength within oneself is a process and it is a practice. It entails a journey of self-discovery through introspection, a letting go of negative patterns, a practice of ingesting high-energy, uplifting content daily, a practice of meditation to cleanse and calm our minds, as well as a deep sense of awareness of our body and gentle caring of it. 

This inner-strength is like a rose plant that we tenderly care for daily with gentleness, repetition, and awareness. This skill comes in handy when we are in difficult situations but to develop the skill we must practice in easy-going situations - during times when the pressure is low. Just like the athlete who trains for a big event, we too must train for the big events in life.

I call inner-strength a skill because it is something we can learn to refine and because it is an art form. It is one of those things that we never learned growing up unless we saw adults embodying this invaluable treasure. I’ve always been an optimist never thinking that I would run into a difficult situation. But when I hit a challenging moment, I found myself without an anchor and without the resources to deal with it. By trial and error, I painfully realized over time, that these situations were doubly difficult for me because I had not learned the art of inner-strength. I did not know what to say, how to deal with my thoughts and how to handle my own emotions. I had no knowledge of ways of thinking and being that could help me resolve those challenges and I had nobody I could look to for help. And that is a very dark place to be in. 

Inner-Peace Chats: A New Way To Move Within

That’s why I want to create resources that can help you prepare - not pessimistically expecting a challenging moment, rather realistically understanding that difficult moments do arise and we need to help ourselves come through those moments stronger. I'd love to offer you my presence and guide you on cultivating deeper inner-peace and sense of resilience. I've created something called the Inner-Peace Chat which is a comforting conversation during moments where you feel weak, distraught or simply in need of an uplifting boost. And according to what you need in the moment, I will guide you through a process and a meditation to help you deal with the emotional upsurge you are experiencing. 
 

It will be an hour-long process and you will receive in your inbox a customized action plan to cultivate inner-peace after our conversation. 

This new offering, the Inner Peace Chat is in a beta-phase which will be a higher investment down the road, after I've done a few chats and refined my process. Right now, you can be part of the founding group with at the early-bird pricing. I invite you to take this opportunity, which at the moment, is the only way to get one-to-one time with me, unless you are part of my larger an online program, Happiness Gameplan. 

Want to get started? Go here to see more details on Inner-Chat and reserve your spot.
 

Much peace,

Sophia

---

Reflection Quote 004 : Goethe on Focus and what matters most

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
⏤ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This eloquent quote puts it succinctly. That which is most important to you cannot be left at the mercy of all that which matters least. In the hustle-bustle of life, we find ourselves putting out fires or just taking care of daily maintenance of our lives so we can function. Often, this is all done in a bit of a hurry and because of that time pressure, we end up doing things without mindfulness.

As a result, there are times when we are swept away in the cacophony of things to do, voices of the world, and the rustling of chores. Even staying aware of what matters most to us becomes a distant memory. Didn't you write it down during your year end review and introspection? Yes, you did and not those priorities, dreams and goals are resting comfortably in the pages of your journal or the digital abyss of your computer.

Photo by Thomas Lambert

Things that matter most

What is that thing that matters most to you? Can you spill it out on the spur of this moment? Without forethought, without thinking? I must admit this is challenging and I do have to take a moment at times to remember - what is it that matters most to me? 

One of the reasons for this is that we all have many different things that we call "priority", not least because there are important things in the many categories of our life such as health, relationship, work/career/business, community, finance, spirituality, and so on. So already that makes at least a handful of "things that matter most". And this makes it difficult to keep all of our priorities top-of-mind.

But what if we could find out for us what is the most important thing ⏤  THE thing that matters most to us. I believe that if we can figure out that one thing, all other priorities in the other categories will become self-evident. That One thing will serve as an umbrella for all our other priorities to logically and emotionally fit together, like a cascading waterfall, one priority will flow into the next and then into the next and become a coherent whole. Then we will not forget what matters most to us. Then we will be able to know at the spur of the moment what our one thing is. And this will enable us to take action, beat procrastination, kick doubt on the way side and begin to enjoy a deeper level of inner-peace.

But to get to that one thing that flows into everything else, we need to dig deep within us and we will find that actually the answers were floating on the surface of our awareness all along. Would you like to do this process with me now? We can in a few minutes become aware of that which matters most to us. All you need is a few minutes of undisturbed silence, a pen and paper or this worksheet below that you can download. And we can begin.

The Process Of Finding Out Your Thing That Matters Most

Step 1:

Take a few minutes to just sit quietly and comfortably. Put all your projects to the side for now. Now take a moment to answer either of these two questions:

1. If you could only have one thing but have it fulfilled, what would you want most for yourself that will make all other parts of your life easy, meaningful, and happier?

2. What is it that you want most right now, and why?

Answer A: 

Step 2:

Next, reflect on the why behind your answers.

1. Why is it that you want the Answer A you wrote down above? What will that bring into your life? 
2. In what way will having A, make other parts of your life easier, happier, more fulfilling? Write down how it will effect ALL aspects of your life including Money & Finances, Health, Family & Relationships, Sense of Contribution/Legacy/Fulfillment, Spirituality, Business/Career, Other

Answer B:
 

Step 3:

Reflect on the next question

1. What actions do you need to take in order to make Answer A & B active in your life?

2. What new habits whether activities or mind-set changes do you need to make in order to make Answer A&B possible in your life?

Answer C:

Step 4:

Time for making this actionable.

Now that you have the exact actions identified, can you commit on actually bringing those actions into your life? If so, when and what time of the week will you take some moments to implement it? Note down days of the week, the time or any other details you need to make this happen.

Answer D: 

Step 5:

Articulate Your Thing That Matters Most to you

Now that you have completed steps 1-4, reflect on Answer A again. Do you need to modify it in any way? And then, phrase What matters most to you in a single sentence:

Answer E: What matters most to me is ..........

___

Results Of My Own Process

As for me, after I completed this process, I realized that:

What matters most to me is taking daily actions of writing, meditating, walking, reading and carrying a mindset of gratitude and loving kindness.

I'm sharing my process results at the back of the Process Worksheet. So if you'd like to see how I came up with the above answer, you can download the entire worksheet below:

I'm glad you went through this process of getting to the core of what matter most. Now you can write it down in your journal or on a notecard and keep it on you, taking it everywhere you go. The purpose of doing that is to keep what matters most to you, top of your mind, so you can take actions to help make that thing that matters most to you, happen in your life. 

I'd love to see what you came up with. Do share in the comments what matters most to you and anything else you'd like to share about doing this process.

Much peace to you,

Sophia

About the author of the quote:

"Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, (born August 28, 1749, Frankfurt am Main[Germany]—died March 22, 1832, Weimar, Saxe-Weimar), German poet, playwright, novelist, scientist, statesman, theatre director, critic, and amateur artist, considered the greatest German literary figure of the modern era". ⏤ Brittanica.com

Why we need to think of expectations differently

Photo Credit: Sophia Ojha Ensslin

I grew up around the notion of "expectation". Expectation followed me around no matter where I went and what I did. I was expected to do good in school. Cross that. I was expected to do great in school. I was expected to excel at work and career. I was expected to be a good, kind person. I was expected to be contributing member of society.

And these expectations ⏤ from family, from school, from society ⏤ all have played a role in who I am. Needless to say, I adopted many of these expectations as my own, to the extent that at one point in my life, I couldn't tell if the things I was working towards were coming from my own expectations or those I absorbed from society. In any case, I always had high expectations of myself and the people around me.

Expectations Are A Trap

This happens to a lot of us. Somewhere along the way, expectation becomes a way of being. We bring our expectations to how our lives should be, how the world should be, how the people around us should be. And too often, these expectations come back to bite us in the you know what! Oh, and I have been bit many, many, many a times! Not so much by society's expectations of me anymore, but my own expectations of the world.

I've come to realize that having expectations of life is a big, dangerous trap. Now, I don't expect you to believe me (pun intended). Reflecting on how I have hurt myself and hurt others because of my expectations, has made me realize that when we set expectations on things and on people, we only create an invisible tension between us and the people or the situation or ourselves.This tension comes from wanting things to be a certain way and then realizing they are not the way we expected them and then feeling angry, hurt or upset or a host of other emotions as a result. 

Waiting Vs. Breathing

Now, don't get me wrong. I do have aspirations. And there is a strong and clear difference between having aspirations and having expectations. Aspirations pull us upwards, they lift us from where we are and help us create for the better. We can aspire to earn a promotion at work and so we take initiatives, stretch ourselves to build our skills or reach out to colleagues to build bridges. We may aspire to a happy home life and so we build presence so we can listen to our loved ones, we invest time to maintain a healthy environment and we care for the wellbeing of our family. We may aspire to create a better world and so we donate our time and resources to worthy causes, we pick up litter in our pristine forests, we hold the door for a stranger. 

"Aspiration" according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

1a : a strong desire to achieve something high or great
1b : an object of such desire
2a: drawing of something in, out, up, or through by or as if by suction: such as
  a:the act of breathing and especially of breathing in

Notice how the definition of aspiration starts with "a strong desire to achieve something high or great". It is positive and uplifting. Just like it's second definition, "the act of breathing"!
Aspiration is also another word of breathing, especially breathing in! 

Expectation on the other hand is "the act or state of expecting : anticipation," according to the dictionary. So I looked up expecting and this is what Merriam-Webster Dictionary showed for it:

1. archaic : wait, stay

2: to look forward

You can notice the difference. Expectation has a more stagnant feel to it. It is the state of waiting and that's an uncomfortable state of being, at least in my view. Waiting vs. Breathing. Which is more dynamic? Which is more alive with life-force?

Aspiration Is Uplifing

Aspiration is a beautiful thing. But when it thwarts itself and warps into expectation, that's when the drudgery begins for you and those around you. Aspiration when coupled with expectation causes heartache, breaks up relationships and causes deep mental and emotional distress.

Whereas aspiration coupled with detachment, frees us. It helps us soar to new heights of creativity, of beauty, of kindness, of wisdom and of compassion. Detachment is an art, a way of looking at things which enables us to take action without being cemented to an end result.

I've written about and created videos on helping you dig deep into the art of detachment with these useful posts:

Deepak Chopra's Law of Detachment (video and blog)
Letting Go Of the Need to Know what happens tomorrow  (video and blog)
My own journey of Showing Up with detachment (video and blog) and
In learning how to Assess Your Efforts Not Results (video and blog)

In relationships with others
So when we aspire for a beautiful relationship with another, we make positive, constructive, meaningful effort to make that happen, but we also let go of how it turns out. What the other person does or how the other person receives our efforts are not under our influence. We can, however, observe and except how they respond to us. This is detachment that frees us because we are accepting of what is and how they are.

In relationship with ourselves
This way of being also applies to how we relate to ourselves. I know that many of us, myself included, have trained ourselves to have high expectations of us. I know many women and many moms who carry very heavy burdens of what they expect from themselves. But when we fall too deep into pasting layers and layers of expectations over us (best mom, best wife, best home care taker, best career woman/ professional/business woman, best community member, etc), then we have only buried ourselves under a ton of bricks ⏤ not freed ourselves to be all that we want to be. That's when expectation thwarts aspiration. 

In relationship with meditation
It's also a trap when it comes to our meditation. We sit down to meditate and have expectations. We all know the benefits of meditation so we sit down expecting to have a relaxed experience. But sometimes, the mind is so active, it is difficult to quickly relax. It may take time. Add to that the expectation and there goes any sense of calm and peace. But instead, if can allow the meditation experience to be as it is, then we have created a kind, benevolent space for our mind to relax. No expectations. Just accepting how things are.

This approach can be applied to anything in our lives. Whenever you find yourself dealing with the pain and distress of having expectations of yourself or of others, remind yourself of this trap of expectation. And then intentionally choose to be kind towards yourself and others. Allow your aspiration for how you want things to be to help direct your words, thoughts and actions but free yourself of attaching to how you expect things to be. 

This is a way to inner-peace. This is a way to relate with our world, our life, the people in our lives and with ourselves with kindness and compassion.

Don't be fooled by the insidious trap of expectations. Welcome aspiration with a detached, kind attitude. This will help you focus on positive thoughts, words and actions and better deal with the reality at hand. 

Don't be fooled by expectations.
Embrace aspiration instead.
Focus on your actions.
Thoughts, words AND actions.
This is a way to peace.
This is way to accept what is.

So, my friend, please share with me in the comments how you respond to this article. I'd really like to know your experience of accepting what is and letting go of expectations.

Much peace,

Sophia

Reflection Quote 003: Tchaikovsky and Showing Up Daily For Creative Muse

Photo Credit: Rachel Shores

“We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavoring to meet it half-way, we easily become indolent and apathetic. We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination.” 
⏤ Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Life and Letters of Peter Tchaikovsky*

Over and over again, I learn from accomplished writers, musicians and creatives that we must show up every day to create in hopes for the muse to inspire us rather than wait for the muse to show and then begin our creative work.

As a writer and creative artist (audio-video), I've found this to be true. Just before the new year began, I committed to write every single day starting Jan 2nd (Jan 1st was a day spent celebrating with friends and share our new year's goals). Whether I was inspired or not, I'd sit at my computer. Whether it was a work day or a weekend, I would show up to write. Whether I was awake and vibrant or sleepy and dull, I would begin typing away. This I promised. And so far, 15 days later, I'm happy at my results. Not counting this post, here are some stats:

Writing Period: Jan 2nd to Jan 14th = 13 days
Total Words written: 11,689
Average Words written per day: 899
Blogs published: 4!!! (I used to churn out one blog a week, so four is a really big change).

In these 13 days, I have found Tchaikovsky's words to ring true. Not every day did I produce content that I felt worthy of publishing. Out of the 13 days of writing, only 4 of those days did I have something I published. And I know for sure that none of these 4 blog posts are the best I can produce at this time. With all that I have learnt in my life about writing, about the creative process, there's an outstanding article waiting to emerge out of me. But you know what, those posts that I did write, are good enough. They are good enough. 

Key to Creative Success: Showing Up Every Day
So, my friend, if you are a creative artist or need creative solutions in whatever field you are working in, what I have found is that showing up every day to your creative project, is the first key step towards getting in touch with your muse, your inspiration, towards tapping in to your creative energy and letting it flow. 

Notice I said, "...showing up every day..." not simply showing up one day and then taking a break. I speak from my own experience. I have begun new projects many a times in my last 7 years at Reflection Pond and I have worked on them during the week, taking the weekends off. And although I am a firm believer in taking time off (see my post here about taking 10 days off for silent retreat), during the rest of the time, it's key to show up every single day.

Keeping the Momentum
Several years ago, I met a professional, a former colleague of my husband. He had invited us for brunch to his home to meet his wife and two kids. After we had a wonderful brunch and spent ample time getting to know his family, we started on our way back. As we were leaving, he got ready in his running outfit and put on his running shoes. I asked him, "how many times a week do you go running?" He said, "Every day." I was surprised as here I was having trouble trying to even make 3 times a week for my exercise schedule. I said, "You don't take the weekends off?" "No," he replied. "It would be too hard to start again then on Monday." 

This was may be 5 or 6 years ago but his statement really made an impression on me. And only years later did it really make sense to me as I had started and failed at many new habits that I was building. I began walking every day about a year and a half ago. I realized that whenever I took the weekends off, it was easy for me to delay starting again. From Monday, it would move to Tuesday and then with great effort I would begin again, only to drop off the habit on the weekend. Come Monday, I would begin the gargantuan task of building the walking habit again.

Now for a year or so, I have been walking daily even on weekends (on days when it the temperature drops to negative degrees, I run up and down the stairs at home several times!).

And now I am applying this understanding to my commitment and habit of writing daily. I write on weekends to - even if it is just 30 minutes. This way, I continue the thread and can keep the momentum going. Momentum is a friend of yours when you are building a new habit. Once you start, you build up this forward moving energy which makes it easier and easier for you to continue it. Each day, you may still find resistance to "doing" your project or whatever the new habit is. But it will be immensely less than if you were to start fresh, from scratch.

Keeping your momentum is essential - and that means showing up every day.

Photo by: Andrew Ly

Being Kind

This is a very important part of building your new habit. When we are at the early stages of the habit, there will be times when you miss a day. It could be because of you being ill or you needing to take care of other necessary things in your life. Until you have build the right conditions around your new habit, you will, sooner later, miss a day. (Right conditions in this sense mean protecting your writing time or new habit time dearly, removing all obstacles from around it, having other parts of your life that you can influence well taken care of so that your "habit time" or "creative project time" or "running time" are sacred, not disturbed). 

So then when you do miss a day from showing up, you have to develop kindness towards yourself. Too often, I have beaten up myself for "failing" at my new habit. And this doesn't really help. So before you begin, know that you will miss a day possibly and already now in the beginning decide what you will do when that happens. Some suggestions:

If I miss a day, knowing these things happen, I will be kind to myself, and:

1. Forgive myself and treat myself kindly: "It's okay you missed a day, let's start again."
2. Take a few minutes to assess what were the conditions like that led me to miss a day. And then work to correct or improve upon it.
3. Recommit and start again.

Let's heed the words of the great Russian composer, Tchaikovsky who said, "We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination." Let's be patient that inspiration, muse, the creative flow will arrive at our fingertips and show up every single day to our "work". Yes, even on weekends! 

What is the One project or new habit you are building in this new year? Please share in the comments what that is. And also share your own experiences with building new habits: challenges faced and solutions arrived at. I'd love to read them.

Peace, Sophia

Sidenote: Whenever I read inspiring quotes, I often wonder who was the person who said or wrote those words. Reading quotes, I find, is a good way to do some digging to find out just a little bit more of the writer/speaker, as their lifestory and life's work gives us much to ponder about.

So whenever I can, I will add a little introduction from Wikipedia or other source to start off your research and add it to the end of the post in a teeny section called: About the Author of The Quote.

*About the Author of the Quote: 

"Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky was a Russian composer of the romantic period, some of whose works are among the most popular music in the classical repertoire. He was the first Russian composer whose music made a lasting impression internationally, bolstered by his appearances as a guest conductor in Europe and the United States."  ⏤ Wikipedia

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You are invited to join my free email course: 

New In-Person Meditation Sessions in Western North Carolina

Hello there! 

I am super delighted to announce that we will be holding live in-person meditation sessions in Boone, North Carolina starting in Feb 2018! Here's some more details from the Press Release.

Inner-Peace: Meditation for a Healthy Mind

Location:
Watauga County Public Library
140 Queen St, Boone, NC 28607.

Event Dates: 
Feb 17th, Mar 17th, April 21st and May 19th.
Event Time:
3pm - 4pm

NEW MONTHLY MEDITATION PROGRAM
at the Appalachian Regional Library.

Starting in February, 2018, Watauga County Library in downtown Boone will be offering a program of meditation and visualization, “Inner-Peace: Meditation for a Healthy Mind.” Local residents of all ages can come and learn how to take charge of their mental well-being. The program will focus on teaching daily practices to calm the mind and wash away the daily stresses, using breath awareness exercises and relaxation techniques combined with guided creative visualizations. These are skills that the participants can learn and use on their own in their daily lives. 

Inner-Peace is a monthly meditation program held in the Meeting Room at the Watauga County Library taking place on the third Saturday of each month, from 3pm-4pm. The dates are: Feb 17th, Mar 17th, April 21st and May 19th. It is hosted by Sophia Ojha Ensslin from reflectionpond.com, a long-time meditator and writer on topics of training the mind, introspection and creating inner-peace. It is part of the mental wellness initiative funded by various national level non-profit institutions.

This program is helpful for anyone who wants to learn how to deal with tensions at home or stresses from the job. It can be used by students to better deal with the pressures of student life. It can help people better cope with loneliness, physical illness, depression, irritation, anger and can help increase a sense of compassion, kindness and love towards themselves and others. It is beneficial to all groups ranging from moms and dads, professionals, students, the elderly and anyone who is interested in taking care of their mental well-being.

Meditation A Necessity Not A Luxury

We, as a society, are re-learning how to take care of our minds after having focused, for centuries, primarily on the body. Our minds are our most important asset and keeping it healthy and nourished is no longer a luxury but a necessity.

If every single individual in Watauga and neighboring counties learned the art of taking care of their mind, with simple daily steps, imagine how much more self-confidence, peace, productivity and helpful solutions we each could experience and contribute towards.

Taking a few minutes to meditate and visualize are powerful ways to wash away the mental anguish, hurt, irritations and anger that builds up in the course of the day ⏤ helping us live happier lives.

For Media Inquires send an email to sophia@reflectionpond.com or go here: Contact
More Details See: Mindful Events Page

Being Kind To Yourself

Photo by Evelyn Paris

What is kindness?

What comes to your mind when you think of the word “kind”? What does kindness mean to you? 

When I first think of the word kind, I think of action - kind actions done to help others. When people help the homeless or other groups. When people pick up litter in the park. When people hold the door open for someone when entering a building. Or when someone lets another car come into their lane while driving. It’s the kind action a nurse takes whenever taking care of his/her patient. It’s the nice words of encouragement we say to each other.

And all of this is really wonderful and worthy of being associated with the word kind.

But how often do we think of ourselves as kind? We do a lot of kind things for others, but do we consider ourselves as a kind person? If you do, that’s wonderful and please keep it up. But for so many of us, we are so critical of ourselves that we don’t even allow ourselves to think of ourselves as kind. We say, “oh, I wasn’t kind that time when xyz happened” or “There are others who are kind but I do my best to be kind”. We have some variation of that statement in our minds. Why? Because we have really high standards of what can be considered kind. Or thinking we are being humble, we never give ourselves the acknowledgement. This has certainly been my case where I did not see myself as a kind person because all I could see was the times that I had been less than kind.

But what if we began to look at ourself as a kind person - that would be a very kind thing to do. We would recognize and notice all the kind things we've done or said or thought.

A First Step In Cultivating Kindness

Starting there would be a wonderful first step in cultivating kindness towards others - considering yourself a kind person.

Now what exactly does it mean to be a kind person?

After you recognize that you are indeed a kind person, it is time to cultivate more kindness towards yourself.

One of the ways to do this is to say encouraging words to yourself. If you are feeling down you can be kind to yourself and say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel down right now. I am here for you.” If you are faced with doubt about yourself, remind yourself why and how you have demonstrated in the past that you can do it. Say to yourself, “You can do it. I believe in you. No matter how this has turned out in the past, the important thing is that you don’t give up. Keep going”.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees." ⏤ Amelia Earhart

If you find yourself feeling impatience towards yourself, then say to yourself, “It’s alright to feel impatience. It’s just an energy and it will pass.” And then deliberately give yourself more time for whatever you feel impatience about. Imagine yourself to be a gentle cow or a mama sheep and how they take care of their young. Imagine yourself to be just filled with kindness from head to toe. Then say kind words towards yourself.

This is an important practice for cultivating kindness towards ourselves. It is important because it seems like we are our own worst critic and barrage ourselves with non-nourishing, hurtful words. We need to take deliberate actions in changing that. And by doing so, we fuel ourselves with good, encouraging energy which builds our self-confidence and we begin to feel good about ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, we are more relaxed and when we are more relaxes issues and problems don’t bother us so much. And as a result, we are kind towards others as well.

So today, my invitation to you is to keep “being kind to yourself” in mind. Whenever you hear yourself being impatient, irritated, angry, critical or in any way unkind, bring yourself to some kind thoughts. This may or may not be easy to do since we often are quick to judge ourselves. But with practice, we relax into this way of being. We practice being kind to ourselves and be begin to enjoy being ourselves and even begin to love ourselves more.

So what do you say? Will you be kind to yourself today? Share your thoughts with me in the comments below as I'd love to know.

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You are invited to join my free email course: 

Reflection Quote 002: Dreams are the seedlings of realities - James Allen

Photo by Noah Rosenfield

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.” 
⏤ James Allen, Author of As a Man Thinketh*

What a loaded quote we have this week, from the British author James Allen. It is packed with tons of deep inspirational thought and in the next few paragraphs, I hope to unlock some key messages so that you can practically apply the wisdom into your life meaningfully.

First, let me ask you a question: Are you a dreamer? A dreamer - not someone who doesn't intend to act on their dreams but someone who know how to dream in order to take right action? 

Think about it for a second. Dreamer. 

I want you to begin to unravel the gifts that this word comes with. Too many people have used the word dreamer as a derrogative term. "Ah, you are just a dreamer." "Don't just be a dreamer." And other variants of such statements. 

But to me the word "dreamer" equals "visionary". It conjures up to me images of people like Dr. Martin Luther King who was a great visionary who could see people being judged by the merit of their character not the color of their skin. It conjures up to me the image of Mother Theresa who could see the vision of Jesus in the faces of ailing, suffering people who were deemed as outcasts and unwanted by society.

Dreamers are visionaries who can see a higher reality for humanity. They can see the potential for good, for benevolence, for compassion and for equality. They are people who can see a more refined world where solutions to today's problems are easily solved with collaboration and dedication. They are people filled with faith in the true kindness that is seated in the heart of every human being. These are the people who have created amazing art, beautiful experiences, and worthy solutions for humanity. These are the dreamers.

That's what I see when I walk in the woods and see acorns on the forest floor. Lying there lifeless, from a distance they look like unwanted throwaways of the forest. But they are dormant. They hold within them the potential of not just one tree but millions of trees. Or when consumed by a squirrel, they give food to not just one squirrel, but millions of squirrels yet to be born. When they neither become food for a squirrel nor find the right conditions to sprout, they may merge with the earth and become nourishment for countless lifeforms. 

That's exactly what is inside an idea. An acorn. A seed. A starting point for something that can have endless impact on numberless beings. 

That is why you ought to dream. And dream big. You ought to dream the dream that is emerging from within you. Care not what has been done. Care not what people think about you. Care not whether you feel ready. You dream is waiting to take root. Because your dream is a seed for your new reality. 

"Dreams are seedlings of realities", said James Allen. What new reality can you dream up?

Here's an exercise that you can do today to cultivate the art of dreaming:

Think of a problem that you have seen in your life. It could be something you have experienced yourself. Or it could be something you have seen out in the world - which you feel can be improved upon.

Ask yourself: If I could have it all my way, what would this look? Or if I could have all the resources in the world, if Bill Gates, Oprah, Richard Branson and all the billionaires of the world were to give me their influence, money and resources, what solution would I like to bring into this world? And allow yourself to think outrageously.

Just to get your juices flowing, I will share with you my very own Big Dream. (I actually have three but let's start with one).

My Big Dream For Animals:

If I could have it all my way and these fantastic billionaires are supporting my dream, this is what I would want: 
I would transform every animal shelter on this planet into a life-shelter (meaning a no-kill shelter). I would then turn the existing shelters into animal sanctuaries and build new animal sanctuaries where dogs and cats can touch the grass under their paws and breathe the fresh air through their nostrils. They can climb trees and run around in peace. They are taken care of by compassionate, well-paid caretakers who feed them good, healthy food and give them access to compassionate, highly trained vets and healers. 

I would find a way to get every single dog and cat off the streets where they are going unnoticed, neglected and filled with diseases. Yes, EVERY SINGLE animal. I would also use the resources to reach into schools so that our next generation can learn the beauty of caring for an animal and they too can take action to protect these animals. All animals are either free in the wild or lovingly and humanely taken care of and allowed to live their entire lives out peacefully. This is my Big Dream for animals in general but dogs and cats specifically.

What is Your Big Dream that you dream of?

You are allowed any big dream you like (of course, it goes without saying that it is beneficial to our world - animals and ecosystems included). Go ahead and share it in the comments below. I am eager to learn from you.

Other Quotes from James Allen:
Here are a few more quotes to spark your imagination:

"Every action and feeling is preceded by a thought."

"Right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves."

"Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself."

Sidenote: Whenever I read inspiring quotes, I often wonder who was the person who said or wrote those words. Reading quotes, I find, is a good way to do some digging to find out just a little bit more of the writer/speaker, as their lifestory and life's work gives us much to ponder about.

So whenever I can, I will add a little introduction from Wikipedia to start off your research and add it to the end of the post in a teeny section called: About the Author of The Quote.

*About the Author of the Quote: 

"James Allen (28 November 1864 – 24 January 1912) was a British philosophical writer known for his inspirational books and poetry and as a pioneer of the self-help movement. His best known work, As a Man Thinketh, has been mass-produced since its publication in 1903. It has been a source of inspiration to motivational and self-help authors". ⏤ Wikipedia

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You are invited to join my free email course: 

Reflection Quote 001: Distraction and Misery - Blaise Pascal

Photo by: Felix Russell Saw

“Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” ⏤ Blaise Pascal, French Mathematician*

What deep truth is entailed in this quote from Blaise Pascal!

As soon as I read these words, it struck a deep chord in me. There have been times when I've been tired at the end of my day or simply experiencing an unknown sadness emerge, I've turned to watch comedy shows after comedy shows to distract me from my own self. I've scrolled FB pages for an entire afternoon, missing out on precious moments to write, meditate, create or spending time outdoors in fresh air or with playing with my animal friends. I'm not embarrassed to share this with you, although only some time back, I would be utterly embarrassed. I share this because I want you to know that if you too have experienced looking for a distraction, then you are not alone in this. And it doesn't make me think less of you as I too experience the urge to drown out what I am feeling at the moment.

Afterall, distraction ⏤ whether it is mindlessly scrolling the internet, eating, drinking,  or doing anything in disproportionate excess ⏤ is a bandaid to our souls, a quick numbing of any emotional pain or mental anguish we are feeling. So, if your family member is ill for long periods of time and you've been taking care of them, it can start to drain you. Like a rubber band you feel stretched. So, you go out to watch a comedy show to take your mind off and have a good laugh with your friends. This is a helpful distraction. It allows you to loosen the tension, focus your mind on something lighthearted and you feel rejuvenized. (Is that a word? Perhaps, rejuvenated is better. Rejuvenized does sound like a legit word!).

However, when we take up activities that are in excess, the distraction then becomes a new problem. People may take a drink to drown loneliness or to deal with a breakup. They feel a relief but instead of moving forward, they come back to it night after night and that's how when it becomes unhealthy and infact, dangerous to their emotional, mental and physical well-being. So distractions are really just a momentary anesthetic not a long-term solution to any problem we are facing.

That's why, this quote strikes me so strongly. Without a long-term healthy strategy to deal with the problems of life, we are too vulnerable to falling in the trap of distraction. Especially, when you are feeling well, strong and positive about yourself and your life, that's exactly the time to help yourself by thinking about a long-term strategy to deal with the inevitable pain and suffering of life.

I am not a pessimist - anything but! I do feel, however, that we, as individuals and as a culture on the whole, are lacking a reliable, healthy net to help us when things go wrong. In the past, people had a much close-knit circle of family and friends. Uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, neighbors, school-mates, and community members were very much available for us. And if you currently have that, you are among the lucky ones (despite of all the problems that being close to family can also cause). More and more of our urban world has become crowded with people but ironically, it has also led to more loneliness and isolation. When things are fine in our lives, all's good. Being alone is not a problem when you are feeling well. But when we fall into the any life crisis - where's the net to catch us? If society and culture fail to provide it to us, we must find one for ourselves. 

There are two things that we can do to help ourselves, create an emotional, spiritual safety net. One is to search out and belong to a community. Second is find something positive you can do on a regular basis that helps you grow emotionally and spiritually. 

One: Community
What we need to do is step out of our comfort zone and find a community to be a part of, a community where you can be yourself, and you can contribute meaningfully for the well-being of others. Join a non-profit/charity and volunteer weekly. Join a sports group. Offer to help out at the local library, animal shelter, shelter for the homeless, church, temple, mosque or any faith-based organization that you resonate with, new age group, book club or writers club, hiking club, language group, knitting group, astronomy club, business groups. And these are just suggestions to start you off. (You have a suggestion to add here? Let me know in the comments and I'll review your suggestion and edit this list - your help can really spark ideas for our readers.)

And a great resource in the US and in many other countries is: Meetup.com where you can see what things are available in your area and even start your very own unique group. I am thinking of starting a meditation group myself in my local area of Boone, North Carolina.

Two: Your Personal Safety Net (Hobby/Creative activity)
Another safety net that is really important is to have some activity that you can do on your own and which gives you much fulfillment and joy. Any of the activities I mentioned in point one as a group activity, can also be something you do on your own.

My two safety net activities are: meditation and hiking.
I am building a habit to meditate one hour a day and then a deepening of my practice on every other Sunday where I mediate several times a day. (I will share more on this as the year progresses and share with you my blueprint so you can also incorporate it in your life). Meditation is a long-term solution ⏤ it is healing, rejuvenating, energizing! It allows us to dissolve the stresses of our lives. And done daily, it helps us to wash away any pain or stress from the day, instead of collecting it in our minds and bodies. It's really like showering to me. I shower every day to keep my body clean and healthy. I meditate every day to keep my mind and heart healthy and nourished. It really is a necessity for a healthy life - not a luxury.

The other safety net is hiking. I love to be in the woods. As they say, some go to church to connect with God, I go to the forest. It really is a blessing to be living inside the Pisgah National Forest. There are gazillion trees and flora everywhere and along with it thousands of birds and chipmunks and deer and all the beings. Then there are the most fascinating waterfalls and breathtaking views. Being in the woods, where only sounds of nature abound, is a precious thing indeed. (I know this all too well; as I am a child born in and as an adult living in two of the most dense concrete metropolitan jungles of our planet: Mumbai and New York City).

My dear friend, if you have access to any natural setting, go on and "invest" your time there. Notice that I said, "invest" not "spend". You really are investing in yourself and in your well-being and inner-peace when you invest time in a park, near a lake, on a beach, in the dessert - any place that is mostly mother nature. You will find much treasure there.

So these two safety nets are to be built and cultivated when you are strong and happy. A wo/man builds a house in dry season to protect her/him from the rains. During the rain, s/he needs to get shelter built by others already. I hope this simile helps you understand deeply what I want to convey. Only when you are strong (dry season), can you build your safety net (your house). When you are feeling down, ill, or facing some life crisis, (rain), you need to get help from your family, friends or church/temple, etc (shelter built by others).

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Well, my friend, I hope that this quote from Blaise Pascal and my reflection on it today is helpful for you. Find the time to build your own safety net (1. community & 2. personal) so that you can be your own strong support, your own anchor, your own pillar helping you thrive and flourish all your life!

Other quotes from Blaise Pascal: 
May be I will write about these quotes in the future, may be not. But here are a couple more to spark your imagination:

"Kind words cost nothing. Yet they accomplish much". 
"The heart has reasons of which reason knows nothing."

Sidenote: Whenever I read inspiring quotes, I often wonder who was the person who said or wrote those words. Reading quotes, I find, is a good way to do some digging to find out just a little bit more of the writer/speaker, as their lifestory and life's work gives us much to ponder about.

So whenever I can, I will add a little introduction from Wikipedia to start off your research and add it to the end of the post in a teeny section called: About the Author of The Quote.

*About the Author of the Quote:
Blaise Pascal was a French mathematician, physicist, inventor, writer and Catholic theologian. He was a child prodigy who was educated by his father, a tax collector in Rouen." - Wikipedia

Tell me in the comments, what your thoughts are about building your safety net. Do you have a safety net? What would building something like that mean to you? What community activity or personal hobby serve as a balm to your soul? Thank you for sharing - as that will be valuable and insightful not only to me but the many silent readers out there!

You are invited to join my free email course: 

On being present with our own big dreams

Photo Credit: Sophia Ojha

Why is it that we get distracted? Not when we don't know what we want in our life but precisely when we get clarity and understanding of our life's mission, it seems that distraction rears it head. 

We all know about the writer or creator or blogger who needs to have her home cleaned and laundry put away before she can even begin prepping for her work. She needs to make sure the bed is made, the dinner is prepared and all the other nitty gritty of life is in order first. Only then can she dust off her canvas or bring out her laptop to begin the daily practice that her craft requires.

Do you resonate with this? I certainly do. And I am becoming very aware of this recently as I have become intensely clear about the project that I am committing to.

It's not that all those tasks are not important, on the contrary, they are the foundations of life. But why do we have to do them in order to get on with our life's work? It's as if we are running away from the very thing we want.

Picture this - imagine you see a cartoon figure of a man who wants to reach for the door. His arms are reaching towards the door. At the same time, his legs are moving away from the door. It's a very confusing thing to be experiencing, if you are that man. Because on the one hand, there's crystal clear clarity about what we want in our life. But on the other hand, we are finding other things to do that consume our mind, attention, energy and our time ⏤ leaving us deflated and even more confused about our situation.

So how do we resolve this?

The best way to untie this entangled mess that we find ourselves in, is by going into deep reflection about the situation. By asking ourselves the questions like, "what do I need to understand in order to break this pattern?" or "what steps do I need to take in order to implement the big main task, my current important project?" Questions want answers and your inner-self will guide you with the right answers that will help you specifically move through this.

When I ask myself these questions, this is what I discovered:

What I need to understand is this:

For the longest time, you've been wandering with doubt and confusion about your life's purpose. You've been unclear about your next steps and you've been impatient with yourself in the process. You've also beat yourself up for 'not being there' already ⏤ meaning not having achieved 'it'. 'It' being this nebulous, unclear ideal of achievement that even you don't know what it’s supposed to be. You've also struggled to follow your heart and suffered from the pressures of family and societal expectations about being a successful career-woman and a fantastic housewife with all the i's dotted and all the t's crossed.
 

You've had 15 years of dealing with all of this plus your own pain body filled with pain and suffering both from that of being born a woman and the suffering you've picked up of all the animals in distress along with karmic pain and suffering that has followed you for millennia. All of this and infinitely more you have dealt with while trying to get focused in a world filled with loud distractions of a gazillion kind. 

Remember you had no training or education or guidance growing up for any of this. You are figuring it out as you go ⏤ like the rest of humanity. 

It's been a tall order. But you've tried. You’ve made efforts. You worked on figuring this thing out. This thing called life. You've reached out to books. Watched 100's of TouTube videos, Ted talks and meditation sessions. You've walked countless miles in the forests. You've meditated countless hours. You've searched and finally, you've come to a certain clarity and a sense of purpose.

But that clarity and sense of purpose is all new. It has no real deep roots. All the other things that have become a pattern in you are deeply rooted⏤the distractions, the noise, the doubt.

Once you realize that you are transitioning to a new way of being, it will become easier for you to walk into that new pattern. Just recognize that you are transforming into a different pattern. And this transformation is happening right now. It is happening every time you shift yourself slightly, steer yourself ever so slightly towards the clarity and purpose that you have found.

So all you need to do is to simplify your goals and simplify your life in such a way that all that is loud and distracting, minimizes and fades away. What remains is just you and the task at hand - the task that you chose to have as your main task at hand. 

So what steps do I need to take in order to implement my big, main goal?

Help yourself in these ways:

1. Write clearly in your day plan when in the day you will be doing your work.

This time is just for your writing or creating or whatever you “work” is. Nothing else. All else, unless an emergency, can wait until their turn. This especially applies to doing the dishes, running errands and all the other things of life ⏤ important but not to be done when it's time for you to create.

2. Reduce your responsibilities and tasks in all other areas of life as much as possible.

This will mean that you bring the volume down on your other projects that are not as important as the main one that you've identified. If you can completely let go of other projects, that will simplify things even more. But we do need other engagements other than our main task ⏤ because creativity needs space to breathe and germinate. So let's say you are a painter, when you are doing your other project ⏤ say gardening, that's when you get inspiration on how to resolve something you are working on currently. So don't completely take away those things but certainly reduce other projects.

3. Remind yourself of your goal or task several times a day.

Especially, when you have a newly found clarity about your life, it's important to write it down in your journal or notebook that you keep with you at all times and read from it several times a day. This clarity is ever flickering until it becomes solidified in your consciousness, in your awareness. So write it down and refer to it several times a day so you know exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it. This action will also fill you up with ideas and energy for implementing those ideas.

This I hope is helpful to you in dealing with your own distractions. Getting distracted is an old way of being. It’s habitual and has arisen in your life as a way to deal with all the confusion, the sadness, the doubt and the suffering you have experienced. What better way to dim the light of suffering than putting your mind to something entertaining like a distraction? Or so it seems. It does give relief and for that purpose, distractions are a breath of fresh air in our too often sad, difficult lives. But they are only a temporary relief ⏤ not something to get used to as a permanent solution. We recognize the benefit of distractions and use them wisely in times we need to put our minds at ease with something other than what we are dealing with. In the end, we each will find our own way of getting focused and clear.

And I hope the introspection questions I shared here with you will help you find your own unique answers. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you get distracted? If yes, what do you think distraction does for you? What have you found to be your unique solutions to distractions? And if you are not distracted anymore, tell us how you found a way to be present with your own big dreams instead of getting drowned in the noise of distractions?

Much love,
Sophia

Alan Robarge - Relationship Coach & Online Entrepreneur

When a testimonial comes in from a client that is so full of kind words, one's heart just fills up with immense satisfaction and joy. To know that you did good work that not only met but went beyond your client's needs, is something I feel so grateful for:

Sophia, working with you is the best decision I have made for my business. I knew I needed guidance. I knew I needed a leadership coach. I knew I needed help. And – you have delivered beyond my expectations. You have offered trust. It is an amazing feeling to know that I can trust your guidance for decision-making. I trust that you understand my business and vision. I know you are truly cheering me on and want me to succeed.

Now, this even gets better. On top of all of that, you offer these little gems of procedure, time-saving shortcuts that give me solutions to challenging obstacles. If I were to go it alone, it would take me hours and hours to research some of the things you share with me in 5 minutes.

Not only do I get reliable collaboration, I get peace-of-mind when working with you. I fully feel supported. You deliver in terms of completing tasks for projects, but more importantly, you show up as part of my team. In the spirit of a testimonial, I support anyone who wants to work with you. You are amazing. Also, I welcome anyone to contact me who wants to hear first-hand just how helpful you can be to their business. Your skills and friendly attitude are what every entrepreneur needs!

Alan Robarge, Relationship Coach & Online Entrepreneur at alanrobarge.com

New Creative Visualization Series Coming Next Year 2018!

Hello there, my friend!

I am thrilled to announce that starting in January of 2018, we will be releasing new guided creative visualization series: Intentions Manifested.

These will be between 15 and 25 minutes long and we will cover all kinds of topics - all the things that you are wanting to manifest in your life. It's really juice and I can't wait to share these with you. We've already got a few of these audio tracks done!!

If you'd like specific guided visualizations on a topic that would help you best, suggest those in the comments below. And keep an eye out on the blog, the newsletter or youtube to see the first episode. You can always also sign up to the 5 days to Happier Life ecourse - as everyone who signs up to those will be the first to be informed!

Until then, stay happy and have a peaceful holiday time!

Love,

Sophia

 

5 Life lessons that bring peace of mind

In recent months, I've had many realizations after going through periods of doubt, sadness, frustration and impatience - mostly around work. But only last week have I begun writing things down as part of my daily journaling practice.

The results of this daily writing have been incredible. Not only have I begun feeling greater ease within myself, I am also finding clarity about larger life principles that feed into that sense of ease and inner-peace. And I'd like to share these with you so that you too can benefit from contemplating these ideas and insights. Hopefully, they bring you inner-peace and a calm mind as a result.

5 Life Lessons That Bring Me Peace of Mind:

This insight and understanding that I've gained through my moments of doubt can be laid out as 5 life lessons. These are as follows:
 

Photo credit: Melanie Magdalena

1. Learn to be in the present moment:
Just to preface this life lesson - it is a deep learning and to master it may take a lot of practice, as I am finding out myself. But every moment you are in the present moment, serves as a stepping stone towards deeper peace. 

Being in the present moment is all about being fully focussed on the here and now. Bring your complete attention to what you are doing right now. Whatever that may be, be completely dedicated to that one thing. As if you were nursing an ill animal back to life and your entire being is required to help it make it through. You will drop everything else and just be fully there for it. (Replace "animal" with any loved being in your life - child, husband, friend, mother, etc.)

So you are completely "with" that other person or being. If there's no one with you then you are being fully present with yourself. Being there with your complete attention. Like the teacher and monk, Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us to say, "Darling, I am here for you". Taking that idea towards yourself.  

This is not an easy task as thoughts come in from all directions. But don't try to get rid of your thoughts. Just be present with them as well. You are experiencing thoughts from the past - be with it. You are experiencing thoughts about the future - just be with it. It's completely allowed. And that in itself is the key. Allow them. Allow them to just be instead of wanting them to not be. The side effect of this approach often turns out that the thoughts quiet down. But even if they don't that's fine. At least you were present to them. You showed up to your own party, so to speak! You were the witness to your own life and that's enough. Really. That's good enough.

Being in the present moment = being witness to what is.

I am continuously learning to be in the present moment. And the more I realize I am here, now, the easier it becomes to "tackle" life. How so? Well, then I only have to deal with that which is in front of me, not the barrage of goals, tasks, aspirations and dreams, problems and struggles of my entire life. No, I am present to just this, just this that's in front of me. This one thing. And I CAN handle this one thing. Easy!

Photo credit: Natalia Luchanko

2. Focus on being helpful

This is absolutely powerful. Once I begin to bring this guiding principle into my focus, things tend to change. As soon as I say to myself, "Focus on being helpful", then all the pressures of being perfect, successful and the rest just fade away for me. Try it in your own life. When things start to get frustrating or overwhelming or in any way difficult, just ask yourself, "How can I be of help in this situation?"

That shifts your focus from you and your problems to how you can be of use, of service to others. And don't get me wrong this is not about taking away attention from your problems or ignoring them. Not at all. It's more about shifting your focus to solutions and being of service instead. 

If we bring this idea into our daily focus, not just on those days when we are having a hard time, then we begin to make this a part of our way of being. We cultivate it as a habit and it becomes a part of who we are and you begin to think of yourself as someone who thinks of how he or she can be of help. 

This self-image is very conducing to mental peace. Why? Because you consider yourself in a positive way. Too often, we have a harsh, negative perspective of ourselves - often too harsh! But when we begin seeing ourselves as somebody who is helpful to others, you inadvertently begin to like yourself a bit more. You then learn to be kinder to yourself and can bring more compassion and patience towards yourself. So even though having the focus of helping others is a wonderful virtue to cultivate for its own sake, it has an immense positive effect on us and how we view ourselves. Then this positive view gives us peace and positive outlook for solving our own problems.

You see - this is how the golden rule works! You help others and as a result you begin to help yourself.

Photo by: Saksham

3. Love what you do

This is an antidote to all the confusion that's caused by the sayings "Find what you love " and "Follow your bliss". In themselves these are great sayings that give guidance to many. But to some, including myself, these statements have caused confusion and even frustration. What if I don't know what I love? What if I don't know what is my bliss?

I've felt this many, many, many, many times in my life as I took upon very different things as my work. From being a United Nations Tour Guide to a meditation instructor to working in an office (very short time) to online marketing consultant and so on. 

I'd feel excited for these things for a bit and then over time - sometimes years, sometimes months and sometimes only after a few days, lose complete interest. Part of the reason is because I completely immerse myself into something and then get burnt out. I would ask myself, "If this thing that I am completely immersing myself in is supposed to be my bliss, supposed to be my "calling", then I could never get burnt out. It would keep fueling my interest and my energy because after all, I've found my thing, my purpose! But this way of thinking was not helpful because inadvertently, I did lose all steam for that one thing. I'd lose my drive, interest and enthusiasm. And may be it's just be being a Sagittarius or may be it this way with many others - if I am not interested or excited about something, I just cannot be involved. I've got to get out of there. If there's nothing that pulls me to be engaged in something, I will voluntarily withdraw myself from that endeavor.

So this way of being caused a lot of stress, uncertainty and even sadness because I could no longer be certain that what I do next will hold my attention for any set period of time. I was painfully aware that it could disappear or fade away anytime. So what to do?

First, I had to learn to let go of the notion that there is one life purpose. I had to let go of the idea that there's one thing that I will be doing all my life. That's just not going to work.

Instead I had to learn a new approach: love whatever I am doing now.

Loving whatever I am doing now has a lot to do with knowing the big picture. If I can be aware of why I was doing something, what was the purpose of it and what is the end result I am working towards, then I could more easily learn to love what I was doing. That connects back with being in the present moment and focusing on being helpful. Those two are the building blocks of this third life lesson. It helps to know the big picture - the why. That brings me to the fourth life lesson - Focus on the end results.

But before I share about that fourth life lesson, there's one more thing I'd like to share about loving what you are doing. When you take the approach of loving what you are doing, you remind yourself that this thing that I am doing has a purpose, a reason and some benefit. I remind myself of the benefit this action brings to others. And even if you can't find yourself to love it, remember that only when you are content with what is, can you break free from it and move towards the new reality you want to create. You begin to create a new reality as soon as you are detached from it and accepting of what is currently happening so that you can begin to take conscious, inspired action out of presence and detachment and not out of a negative mind state of resistance, frustration, anger and such.
 

Photo Credit: Luis Del Río Camacho

4. Focus on the end results.

This is something that you may have read or heard from many a new age book or personal development guru. The idea has certainly been made popular by the book and film, "The Secret". The idea that simply resonates with us - visualize the end result.  Most recently, I heard Mike Dooley talk about focusing on the end result in his book, Playing the Matrix. 

I too have found from personal experience that focusing on the end result is very helpful in my day to day life - I will explain more below. But before I share how that is helpful, I've got to share a word of caution.

Visualizing the end result alone is not enough for the everyday person. 

There are countless stories of mystics and saints who have instantly manifested things and situations and healings just by visualizing it. They create an image of what they want to see and instantly it comes into being. You can thing of any of the famous saints, nuns, monks, zen masters, yogis, sufi mystics, shamans and so on, in every corner of our globe where miracles have come to pass.

These individuals demonstrate to us the power and potentialities that each human being has within her/him. They embody mastery of mind over matter, the power of visualization. They were also very advanced meditators - someone who could go into deep states of stillness.

But most of us are not that far advanced on that path. That means, although we too can visualize and work with the still, quiet mind, it is not enough to quickly bring into reality that which we want to create just with the use of visualization alone. We need something more - which I will talk more in detail in the final life lesson below - taking consistent action.

That's why visualizing the end result alone is not enough for those of us who are not very advanced in using our mind's powers fully. That's why we need all these other life lessons to work in sync with visualization. 

So now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about visualizing the end result.

Why is it important to know the end result? There are tons of reasons for this. The most obvious one is this: so that you know where you want to arrive at and so that when you take action you can assess whether you are moving toward or away from your desired end result.  

But focusing on the end result also does one magical thing for you - it frees you from the nitty gritty reality. What do I mean by this? You see, when you focus on let's say inner-peace, or financial well-being, you keep your eyes set on the big picture. You keep your focus on how you want to experience life. And it frees you from the nitty-gritty of the "how" your end result manifests. 

See, one of the great miseries on the path of realizing one's dream comes from our being too attached with how something happens. Let's take for example, Sunita's vision. Her End Result is "living in a state of inner-peace". Now does it matter really if she experiences this through following Christian teachings or Buddhist teachings? Does it matter if Sunita experiences deep inner-peace by going for walks in the woods everyday or by meditating every day? If the end result she experiences is inner peace, it doesn't really matter "how" it came into being, does it?

Take another example. Say for example Alex wants to experience the freedom of being able to write for 5 hours a day. That's all he wants to do and wants to be sustained sufficiently - meaning, he wants that all his material needs are easily fulfilled. So what if now, as he focuses on his end result of being able to write every day for 5 hours, his wife's, Tanisha, online business takes off. She is now, single-handedly, making the income of a two-person household with plenty left over to save for retirement. Tanisha is overjoyed that she can help her husband live a fulfilling life of a writer with her successful business. This leaves Alex the freedom he was envisioning to be able to write for 5 hours a day and not have to go get a day job. Nor does he have the pressure of having to create a New York Times best-seller. All he has to focus on is writing every day.

So now does it matter whether Alex achieved his end result through the financial success of his wife? The same end result could have been achieved in a gazillion different ways:
he gets a huge inheritance,
his real estate investment that he made 10 years ago is suddenly providing a monthly income that pays for all his and his wife's needs,
he gets a book contract which leads to a big success securing his future financial needs,
he gets a part-time job as an editor that pays all his bills and leaves him 5 hours to write daily,
his YouTube channel earns him a monthly income that covers all his family's needs, 
and on and on.

It doesn't matter how the end result manifests, as long as it does. And when we focus on the end result (while taking action and doing the other things I mentioned in Life lessons 1-3), then we are able to be detached as to how our dreams manifest. We give life an opportunity to make things happen with greater freedom. 

It's like the story of the drowning man. Do you know this one? I've heard it a long time ago so some details I have added in to make the story understandable. So here's the story which goes something like this...

Once there was a big flood that filled the streets of a residential area. A lot of people were rescued or were able to flee in time. But there was this one man who got stranded on the roof of his house. This man was a man of faith. He had faith that he would be rescued. He knew that in his heart. 

Soon, a rescue team passes by. They are in a small canoe rowing their way through the streets. The spot this man and offer him to jump into the canoe. The man says, "No, thank you. I have faith that I will be rescued". Surprised, the rescue team moves on to find others to help.

Then, a speed boat passes by. They, too, notice the man and offer him to take him to higher ground. He says the same thing. "No, thank you. I have faith that I will be rescued." Stunned, the guys move on.

The man continues to hope and pray and visualize him being rescued.

Next, a rescue helicopter come by. They spot the stranded man and hurl out a hanging ladder for him to climb up. Again, the man refuses. The helicopter team flies away, astonished.

Unfortunately, to make a point in this story, the man drowns.

The story, of course, doesn't end yet.

The man goes to heaven. He meets God. The man is shocked that inspite of his faith and belief and all the visualizing, he still drowned. So he asks God, "Why didn't you come to rescue me, God? I had so much faith in you and I visualized being rescued so clearly."

God nods and then says, "Boy, I did come to rescue you! I first sent you a canoe, then a speed boat and then even an expensive helicopter. But did you climb on? No! You did nothing!"

The man realizes his error. He did not take action. No matter how clearly he visualized his being rescued, the final step - taking the action to step on the rescue vehicle - was all his job. Plus, he was attached to the "how". I have no idea what exactly this man visualized. But it certainly didn't look like a canoe, a speed boat or a helicopter. Because it didn't match his very specific End Result Visualization, he didn't accept the help that did come his way.

How often do we do that? We don't take action. We just visualize. And we fail to see the help that is right in front of us. We imagine some complicated, struggle-filled, hardship-entailing solution when the simple answers are right in front of us. Do you relate? I certainly have done this and every time I fall into this old trap, I try to remind myself: "Don't judge what is in front of you as not good enough. You never know, this may be your canoe, your speedboat, your helicopter!"

And that's why visualizing the end result and then letting go of "how" that end result manifests, is very helpful in my every day life. Because it is freeing. Because it helps free up the infinite, gazillion ways of how that end result could manifest for us. And isn't that wonderful? Why be attached to how something unfolds when another way may be easier, faster, happier, more splendid and marvelous than what we could have carved out for ourselves?

So let go of the how, and simply focus on the end result, and then take action. More on that next.

Photo by: Cristy Zinn

5. Keep Taking Action

This is the final life lesson which I've mentioned in the last section - keep taking action. Taking action - any "good" action is helpful to you on your path moving forward. Even if you take a misguided or "wrong" action (I don't thing there's a wrong action, only a misguided action, perhaps), you can recognize your ways and make adjustments. It is important to take action.

For instance, last summer, I volunteered at my local real estate association to facilitate a six-week mastermind group for 10 or so committed professionals who wanted to make inroads in their real estate investment goals. My job along with my husband who was the co-facilitator, would be to gather interest in the program, set up the application process to find the most committed people - people who were committed to show up each week, organize the meetings, recruit speakers who were advanced investors and facilitate the flow of each meeting. This turned out to be a lot of fun but also a lot of work. Every participant benefitted immensely - they made new best friends, got partners for their investment projects, got valuable information and mentoring from experienced investors and most of all, the built a sense of confidence in themselves and found encouragement from each other to go ahead. 

As a facilitator, I learnt a lot - both about real estate but mostly about myself, my skills, areas to develop further, dealing with nerves while speaking to a group which were all older than me. ( I am working on dissolving this mental pattern of "I am younger than them - what can I offer them"). But most of all, I learnt that I don't want to immerse my time in the subject matter of real estate. I loved facilitating and organizing the mastermind and the results of success that each participant felt because of joining the group, but I didn't want to be surrounded by the topic of real estate - that one thing became clear.

As much as the subject matter of real estate is interesting to me (I am interested in a lot of topics), and I love to learn about it, I just don't want to spend all my time in that topic. This I would not have known, had I not gone out there and volunteered my time to create this mastermind. It was an idea that I followed through on. I took action. But then I realized I needed to recalibrate.

The important lessons I learnt from that summer is priceless and I know it will help in my next endeavor, whatever that may be. But I had to take those steps. So starting that mastermind was not a wrong action, not even misguided - because it was guided by the intention to help others and learn by experience the art of facilitation. In the end, I realized I needed to move on.

I am sharing all these details to demonstrate that we don't have to know the right steps. We just need to take the next steps with the best intention and the best of our current knowledge and understanding. Then we can recalibrate. 

This reminds me of airlines and how pilots are constantly course correcting. They start off at New York in the general direction of Atlanta. They are headed South but enroute, based on the new information they receive, they adjust their course. Finally, they land at Altanta airport precisely as desired.

Similarly, we've got to have an end destination in mind (Life Lesson 4). Then we've got to start the engine and move forward. Assess what's happening and then based on the best information we have at the moment, course correct and adjust our actions. In the end, we will arrive precisely as imagined, even though the path taken may have been unclear and nebulous!

---

So, my friends, I hope that these five lessons are insightful to you as they have been for me. I wish for you to have a peaceful, happy, life - a life that you want for yourself. If you'd like to discuss any elements that I've shared here, please make your constructive, helpful comments below. 

Warmly,

Sophia


 

036: Four areas on which I blog about on sophiaojha.com

Two years ago, I created reflectionpond.com, a platform where I shared my personal insights on cultivating simple daily practices to experience a deeper sense of inner-peace happiness. I created that site to help women entrepreneurs move forward in their business by overcoming one of the major obstacles we face: self-doubt and negative thought patterns.

The interesting thing is that in the course of building that website, I picked up a ton of tech skills. I just devoured everything I could learn about online marketing and learnt so much about email marketing in the process.

And I simply enjoyed everything about it! So I took my own advice that I shared on that site of "following the signs to where there is flow" and began offering email marketing services. Soon, people began to request my help and sophiaojha.com, this site and business, was born!

The two tools
I now help online entrepreneurs build their business using the double power of Squarespace (to house your online presence) and ConvertKit (for building, growing and nurturing your audience). ConvertKit is an email marketing platform increasingly loved by bloggers and online entrepreneurs.

These are the two tools I focus on because they are unbeatable when combined for online success.

On this site, you will find lots of blog posts with tweaks and tips on how to maximize your Squarespace website. And I add in detailed step-by-step guides, tutorials and trainings on how to use and harness the power of ConvertKit.

A zen approach for business
But most importantly, I help entrepreneurs grow their audience while building their trust by using a zen approach to email marketing. This zen approach is all about being real and authentic - treating people like friends not potential customers. It is about simplifying in order to focus on what's most essential. And it is about zooming in on how you can offer value in everything you do. 

Authenticity + Value + Simplify = My Zen Approach.

As a result you serve your audience and make a difference for them. You build your own sense of fulfillment from your business. You follow your heart and inner-guidance system rather than fall for the latest business and marketing trend. And when you simplify things, things get easier to manage. This is where for me a fulfilling online business emerges from - value, authenticity and simplification.

You will hear about my Zen approach referenced in different ways throughout my blogs, video tutorials, live trainings and programs. But if you'd like to start a conversation around it, just hop on down to the comments section and share your thoughts on it. 

The unique struggles of a soloprenuer
And finally, I also want this site to be a source of inspiration for the online business person - especially to those of you who like me are female soloprenueurs* with a dream for our lives + message for making this world a better place. Running an online business has its unique struggles that bring up very unique inner-conflicts for the modern female entrepreneur.

And they are crucial to recognize, deal with and eventually dissolve if are to keep a peaceful happy life. I don't see much talk about these struggles and the solutions for them and I want to begin a conversation about them because I've needed that and continue to need that support as I grow with my business. So unique online business related mindset issues will also find a place on this site.
*solopreneur= solo entrepreneur running an online business.

Four areas for blogs + tutorials
So this is what you will find me blogging about on sophiaojha.com:

1. Website design tips (all Squarespace related)

2. Email marketing strategies (all ConvertKit related)

3. The zen approach to email marketing and online business

4. The trials and victories of being a soloprenueur 

And what type of media do I focus on here:

1. Youtube Video Tutorials

2. Blog articles

3. Live Workshops

If any or all of this is of interest to you, my dear friend, then I am super glad you found me and my little home on the internet. I welcome you to write me in the comments, come to my live trainings and connect for collaborating with me. 

Welcome and Let's make it Happen!

Sophia
 

035: Customize Your ConvertKit Email Template With these 5 Videos

If you'd like to customize your ConvertKit Emails to match your brand, this blog is for you. Below I've listed five most asked for videos/tutorials when it comes to customizing the look of emails inside ConvertKit.

Take a look at the following blog posts that have step-by-step directions with screenshots, code for copying into your template as well as complete video walkthroughs:

1. How to add a banner image to your emails: https://www.sophiaojha.com/blog/005-adding-banner-to-convertkit-emails

2. How to changing the color of the unsubscribe link: https://www.sophiaojha.com/blog/016-how-to-change-unsubscribe-link-color-in-convertkit

3. How to change "unsubscribe" into German or other languages: https://www.sophiaojha.com/blog/018-change-unsubscribe-into-german-or-other-languages

4. How to change the link colors that are in the body of your emails: https://www.sophiaojha.com/blog/003-changing-link-color-on-convertkit

5. How to add social media icons: https://www.sophiaojha.com/blog/002-social-media-links-convertkit-email-template

I hope this helps. If you'd rather have a template created by me, then you can hire me for an hour on my new Services page to get started.

Peace,
Sophia

034: My No. 1 Tip For Writing Email Subject Lines: Give Value

There are tons of ways to write the subject line of an email. And you can experiment to find out just the right way that suits your style. But whether you write long emails or short ones, follow this zen approach to writing subject lines which help to make your email opened, clicked and most importantly valued by your reader.

In every action I take in my business, I ask myself: how can what I am doing right now be of use to my reader. And if you start at this place too, I am confident that whatever you produce will reach the goal you set for it.

So when it comes to writing subject lines for my emails, here's my no. 1 tip:

Write Subject Lines That Give Value

Write subject lines that give value and you will truly be adding value to your reader not just fooling them to open your emails.

How many times do you see subject lines that are only designed to make you open the email? Nothing wrong with that except when it feels icky and manipulative or plain irrelevant to the email subject matter. 

I've seen subject lines that go like:

"I have a confession"
"I made a mistake"
"Squirrel"

These subject lines may make you open the email, but the content inside may seem like a waste of time.

An Email Is A Letter to Someone

An email is literally a letter. It is a letter to a person to whom you want to communicate a message with. It is not simply a digital tactic sent out to a number on your list. It is an actual message read by a real person with real life problems, dreams and struggles. And it is an opportunity to serve, to help, to assist, to use your skills and talents for the benefit of another. In fact, I believe a single email can change a life! Yes, I know. How idealistic, but it sure can!

So why not treat an email like the golden opportunity that it really is - an opportunity to connect with another human being, to build something wonderful, to solve real-life problems and to serve meaningfully?

Examples of Recent Subject Lines I've Used

To give you an idea of the type of subject lines I use, here is a sample of some recent subject lines that have gone out to the lovely people on my list.

1. Brainstorm next month's email topics in an afternoon
2. My complete 8 step email content creation process - for you! 
3. [Video] How to set up an evergreen sales funnel using visual automations
4. Why emailing your list the latest blog post doesn't always work
5. [Invitation] Up your ConvertKit confidence with ConvertKit Foundations Brunch Workshop
6. How often you should email your list? 

Each subject line was meant to deliver value even if the reader never opened up and read the full email. In other words, the email subject line should really communicate value to your reader. 

The way I look at it is this: Of course, I want my reader to open up the email. And I want to tell them what's inside the email. But if for whatever reason, they cannot open up the email, but can only read the subject line, I want it to still be valuable enough so they can benefit from it.

I want the subject line to be a way for the reader to be able to decide whether or not he/she should invest time in opening that email. 

For instance look at subject line No. 5. They can instantly see it is an invitation to a workshop and what the workshop is about. If that's of interest, they will click. Otherwise, they can move on and focus on what's essential for them. This alone is of value. The value is time-saved. The last thing I want to do is to waste someone's time with my emails. That's bad karma! Yes, I do believe in good and bad karma and the golden rule! :)

So when you sit down to write your email subject lines, be helpful to your reader, just like you do when writing the email content. Treat them as a friend who needs and wants your help.

What would you write in an urgent situation?

Let's take this scenario here: What if the subject line of an email is your only chance to send somebody a message in an urgent situation? 

Let me elaborate:

Imagine that your loved one is on his or her way to catching a flight. And you just had an argument before they left and you didn’t get up the courage to say something important. But you don't want them to leave like that - without a resolution to the argument.

And now you urgently want them to know that you love them and care for them and you also want to send them an apology. But you know that their phone will soon be out of power and on top of that soon they will have to turn it off anyways before the plane takes off. (Drama: real Bollywood style). You know that even if you your beloved could just see the subject line it could resolve the whole situation.

Of course, you would try to follow them to the airport or at least call or send them a text as well - but just for my example we are emailing ;-)

So now what would you email them?

Would you rather email them a subject line:

"Open up to see inside an important message that you won't wanna miss".

Or would you rather write:

 "I love you".

I think we both know the answer! 

Being Real Instead of Using Marketing Tricks

It really is important to keep our humanity and be real when writing emails to the people on our list. I think that is much more powerful and leaves a positive impact on your readers’ mind and maybe even their hearts. 

It’s far too easy to fall for all the marketing advice out there that talks about writing email copy that converts using all the tips and tricks in the marketing toolbox. But I think, it is time to change that. I know my approach is different than what you may read on most popular blogs and I hope you agree that we need to take this more human approach.

Don't we all want to deal with human beings who treat us like a person not just as a potential customer who will buy something from them some day? Plus, we are all quite savvy nowadays and can easily sense who is trying to be a sales person and who is really trying to serve us with value.

How To Be More Human In Your Subject Lines?

I think the first thing really is to realize that it is okay to be yourself. No scratch that. It is in fact, essential that you are yourself. Your emails should represent who you are and what your business values and stands for. When you do this, you are able to give yourself permission to not have to use marketing tricks that don't feel authentic to you. And that’s also when you attract an audience that is in alignment with your business.

So here’s my quick mini-guideline to help you when you are crafting your subject line:

First. Write out your email with the message/value you want to convey to your reader.

Second. Think what is the gist or the summary of this message in a sentence or two.

Third. Tweak that sentence so it is down to a short sentence or even a phrase.

Finally. Ask yourself how can this subject line offer value/benefit to my reader? Would I write this if this is all my reader ever saw about this topic?

I hope that this helps you think about how you can add value to the people reading your emails even just with a single email subject line.

Do write to me in the comments below which subject lines you came up with. I'd love to see those. You can also share any that stand out in your inbox that you found useful. Plus, what do you think of this approach I am sharing in this post about using subject lines to offer value to your readers?

Thanks for reading! Keep writing!

Sophia

033: How to Come Up With Email Topics (Free Worksheet)

In blog post 032, I shared with you my complete 8 Step Email Content Creating Process, specifically for planning, creating and scheduling your emails at least a month in advance of when they are to go out to your audience.

Today, I want to dive a bit deeper into Step 2: Begin Planning Process - Brainstorm.

Brainstorming is a key step in the process. It helps you to get your ideas down on paper, sort through them, select the best ones and throw out the rest or keep them for a future time.

The goal here is to come up with a bunch of ideas without censoring yourself or editing yourself while you are brainstorming. At the end of the process, you will shortlist the exact email topics based on how often you email your list each month. It could be 4 or 5 topics if you email weekly, but you will adjust according to your emailing schedule for each month.

Remember to follow my zen approach which in this case is to pick an email frequency that you can commit to and then let your audience know what to expect.

Let's dive into the brainstorming process 

First: Select your creativity-conducing environment.

It is important to have the right environment for this process. There are two ways to go about this process.

Way One - create an nice environment where you feel relaxed. Get a cup of hot tea or a rejuvenating smoothie and bring out your notebook (digital or paper) and start scribing. I, myself, like a hot cup of chai tea, a favorite pen and my bullet journal and start writing things down. I also keep my laptop close by to look at my content schedule for blogs and video tutorials for the upcoming month. I may work from my desk, jump on the couch or take to the balcony and brainstorm under sunny skies + fresh air.

I like to do this brainstorming in my bullet journal because for in next brainstorming session, I may like to look at what ideas I came up last time. There is always a seed for something in there - either a blog post, an email topic idea or even a digital product.

But you may also choose to scribble on a whiteboard, scarp paper or sticky notes. Use whatever throws your hair back! (If you're wondering, I heard a South African speaker use this phrase in a Ted Talk to mean "whatever works for you". But I think you got that by context!)

Way Two - take a couple of hours to go your favorite spot in nature. I like to go for a hike on one of the nearby trails with my husband. Long walks usually free my creativity and ideas start to pour in. I bring with me a ultra mini-journalist's notepad (fits in my palm) or sometimes I use a voice recorder app on my cell phone to record ideas (like last week when I had the notebook but forgot the pen in the car)!

Actually, there's a third way to do this: Go for a walk (Way Two) and then come home and brainstorm (Way One) - and you benefit from the best of both! Tell me in the comments what works for you!

Second: Look at your upcoming content calendar

That's a great place to start. You can begin by looking at what blog posts, video tutorials or podcasts you have planned out for the upcoming month. Of course, this means that you need to have your content schedule already in place. Then, you can derive your emails from that. But as I pointed out in the last post, you cannot always email your list an update on your latest content (see more on that in the intro section of Blog post 032). And that's why we are doing this Email Content Creation Process in the first place, right?

So looking at your publishing calendar for the next month, pick out any topics that you do want to inform your list about. This alone will give you at least one, maybe two things you can use for emailing.

Third: Think about the challenges of your readers/audience

This part, I really love because you get to think from the point of view of your reader. Begin to think about what challenges they have and how you can solve them.

What I do is look through some questions that serve as thinking prompts and help me to come up with some ideas. You can see these questions below. I’ve written these up using names of people to make it more real.

(By the way, you can use these very questions to come up with ideas for your blog posts or video tutorials as well).

Here are some question to start you off:

1. What is Jenny potentially struggling with right now?
2. What tutorial could help Paul to visually solve a particular question in a specific field?
3. What are some common questions I’ve seen in FB groups asked by people like Jenny and Paul?
4. What did I need to learn when I was starting out on?
5. What is the one thing that everyone in my audience needs to know?
6. What new thing has happened in my industry/niche that I can inform my audience about?
7. Which topic can I put my own spin on and present to my readers?

I encourage you to come up with some questions that you find helpful. And then share them in the comments so we can all benefit. 

Fourth: Shortlist the best ones

Next, see what kinds of topics you’ve come up with. From step 3 of the Email Content Creation Process, you know that you need x number of email topics for the next month. For example, there are 5 Wednesdays in November when I send out emails. So I will need 5 email topics.

Simply select these many topics from your brainstorming process. You will have many more good ones so keep them for the next month.

When selecting your four or five or however many topics, see if they can all be threaded together in a theme in a way that each week you are building upon them. This will make it all the more easier for your readers to digest the content. 
 

Fifth: Add them to your Email Content Calendar

Finally, add these titles to your Email Content Calendar on Google drive or Asana. I've just discovered Freedcamp. I played around with it and absolutely love it's versatility. Plus I can switch back and forth between list view and Kanban view. I think this might be a topic for a blog post too!

Here's how my Email Content Calendar for November looks in Freedcamp:

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This the view of my Email Content Creation Calendar in Freedcamp

Well, after this, you are all done. You've brainstormed, shortlisted and plugged in your email topics into your Email Content Calendar. Bravo!

Share with me:
What brainstorming questions did you like from the list? Do you have some of your own to add to this list? Do have a favorite tool you would like to use for this process - share with me?

Share with me in the comments! Also, I'd love to know if you've got any questions.

Warmly,
Sophia

032: My Complete Weekly Email Content Creation Process

One of the pillars of a successful email marketing plan is Keeping In Consistent Touch with your audience - by sending them regular emails.

Of course, how often you email your list will be based on the stage you are in your business and the frequency that is best suited for your audience.

Whether you email your list once a week, once a month or twice a month, you need to have consistent content going out.

Sometimes just sending a headsup to your email list that your new blog post is out, works.

But at other times, it will not work.

Sometimes your blog posts simply don’t translate naturally into newsletter ideas.

Take a look at this example from my own business:

Recently I created a blog post about how to import lists from Mailchimp to ConvertKit. Because I know that many of my current subscribers are already on ConvertKit, I don’t want to send them an email telling them how to do it. This blog post is for those on my list who are in the first phase of the process — (If that’s you, check out the complete 23 page free Guide here).

So sending an email to my list about that new blog post would not serve them all. It may even turn them off.

Instead, I send them something more relevant across the board regardless of whether they are starting out or already a few steps ahead.
 

But how do you come up with newsletter ideas week after week? Especially, if you've already got a full load of content for your blog posts laid out.

There is a way you can take care of this conundrum. And I would like to share with you my exact process for coming up with email topics so that I keep my list well informed with useful content. I am sharing this with you hoping that it will help you do the same in your business.
 

Email Content Creating Process -
A Complete Step-By-Step Guide for Planning, Creating and Scheduling Your Emails All In Advance. 

Seriously, it is not easy to have refreshing content each week. And I am utterly tired of having to get into the creative thinking space on a deadline. As you may know yourself, there are some things that benefit from a hard deadline. But for others, you need a better system in place — a habit system which benefits from a hard deadline but is not entirely dependent on it.

This is what I mean:

What if you could have enough new content for your audience planned, created, and scheduled in advance? What if you created that content while you are in a creative phase, well in advance of when it is to be scheduled? What if the hard deadlines help you to schedule things at certain dates but are not there to create pressure and stress?

Well, then, I’d like to introduce you to my newsletter content creation process. This entire process is to be done only once at the end of each months. So essentially, you do this 12 times a year.

Here is how it works:

Step 1. Set aside 2 days for the Planning Process
Step 2. Begin Planning Process - Brainstorm - Day 1
Step 3. Check how many weeks there are next month - Day 1
Step 4. Circle the best topics - Day 1
Step 5. Write the emails - Day 2
Step 6. Schedule them in ConvertKit - Day 2
Step 7. Set aside 2 days for the next Planning Process - Day 2
Step 8.  Enjoy an afternoon off (very very important) - Next Day
 

Step 1. Set aside 2 days for the Planning Process

It's great to batch process content and the ideal is to have all your emails ready for the next quarter before the quarter begins.

But we can begin with the first goal:

Goal: To have all emails ready before the start of the next month.

I think this is a bit more feasible as a first step. 

So at the middle of the month before the emails are to go out, block out a two day time slot for the Planning Process. 

For example, for getting all my emails ready for November, I've set aside two planning days in October. 

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This is a page from my Bullet Journal where you can see my two Email Content Planning Days: Oct 16th and 17th.

Email Content Creation Process Scheduled in Freedcamp, my project management tool of choice. You can see Day 1: Oct 15th is for brainstorming and Day 2: Oct 16th is for writing the emails out.

This step is exactly like step 7. Essentially, you are blocking of days for the next month as soon as you are at the end of Day 2 of each Planning Process.

Step 2. Begin Planning Process - Brainstorm - Day 1

Brainstorm ideas for what you want to email your list. Here you think of possible email content to send your list.

You can begin with taking a look at your upcoming blog posts, podcasts or YouTube content as a starting point. 

Think of any announcements that are coming up in the next month.

Just write down any ideas that come up. At this phase, you are just letting the ideas flow. No need to screen or censor them right now. 

In this post, I lay out for you some questions that can help you think of potential content along with a worksheet.

Step 3. Check how many weeks there are next month -Day 1

This one is simple. All you are doing is seeing how many weeks there are in the upcoming month. This tells you how many email topics you need to select.

This applies to those of you who are sending out your content weekly. If you have a different sending frequency, just total up what that number is for the next month.

In November, there are 5 weeks. Since I email each week, I will need to shortlist 5 email topics.

Step 4. Circle the best topics - Day 1

Now look at all the ideas you came up with in your brainstorming session. And begin circling the best ones for next month.

In my example, I will need 5 topics for November. So I will go ahead and circle 5 topics.

I will now list them out in a document on Pages. (You can also use Google Docs, Asana or Basecamp* or my new favorite Milanote). This will be my starting point when I sit down to write these emails out in Day 2 of the Planning Process.

Mini-step: After I've selected the best 5 email topics, I also note in my calendar which email topic will go out on which date.

*affiliate link

Step 5. Write the emails - Day 2

The next step is to simply write out the emails. 

It may seem that one day for 5 emails is not a lot. I think it is really the other way around.

Writing just one email takes a whole day. But when I am writing so many emails in one go, I think it gets done way faster.

Plus, the key is to start really early in the morning and make writing the first thing you do when you get to work.

I've found that doing any kind of work, especially creating work in the morning hours, gets done faster and the result is far better than writing in the afternoons or evenings. 

But hey, do what works. The main thing is that you get the emails done nicely.

Step 6. Schedule them in ConvertKit - Day 2

ConvertKit is a placeholder for your email marketing platform.

The task is to take the text of each of your emails and bring them into ConvertKit as broadcasts.

Send out test emails to see that everything looks good. Make any changes needed.

And wrap it all up by scheduling them according to your email sending schedule. 

Step 7. Set aside 2 days for the Planning Process - Day 2

This is essentially Step 1, but you do it at the end of each Email Content Planning Process.

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So as you can see, this is essentially a batch process to get all your emails out a month in advance.

The next step would be to get more of these emails done before each quarter begins. How cool would it be if by December 2017, you had all emails written out for the first quarter of 2018? That is going to be my new goal for my weekly newsletter!

You can employ a similar process for creating blogs but you will need the added component of social media (creating thumbnails, sharing on FB, Twitter, Pinterest, etc).

Oh and I almost forgot step 8: 

Step 8. Enjoy an afternoon off (very very important) - Next Day

This is so important. So often we are in the 'doing' mode, we forget to be in the 'being' mode. We are all human beings after all, not human doings! Well, at least not all the time! ;-)

May be the next day after the planning process, you can the afternoon off with your loved one - be in human, animal or a book!

Share with me:
How do you think this Email Content Planning Process can help save you a bit of the overwhelm and pressures that come from just having deadlines?

Share with me in the comments! Also, I'd love to know if you've got any questions.

Warmly,
Sophia

031: How to Create an Evergreen Sales Funnel Using Visual Automation in ConvertKit

Hello there,

In September, I put together an in-depth introduction to ConvertKit's new Visual Automation feature. Here is the video recording of it. Please post your questions in the comments and come check out dates for the next free live training here.